Hello again from Thomas Ferreira, your child custody, family, divorce and support mediator and lawyer serving California cities of Carlsbad, San Marcos, Vista, Oceanside, San Diego and surrounding areas.
I want to address a specific situation where you get child custody and visitation orders that are restrictive of your visitation, don’t give you enough time with your kids or are just plain and unfair.
First off, don’t just file yet another Request for Order with the same concerns you had last time. Unless you find out that she’s beating the kids or subjecting them to sexually explicit material, or something similar, the court is not going to change custody.
What you need is a change of circumstances, that is, something that’s different now that would persuade the court to give you more time. Now that you have orders, it’s time to execute a plan for getting more time. You can do it, and it’s never too late.
Here are 3 tips that will move the dial in your direction to persuade the court to give you more time:
- Lay the groundwork before you file in court. Too many self-represented parents think the court will solve their problems. Usually that’s not the case. Take the parenting time you have and be a great parent with that time. Document in a diary when you have had visits with your kids and how the visits went.
- The parent-child relationship is king. The goal of each visit will be to build a relationship with each of your children. The court will see your efforts toward this and reward them with more time.
- Creating anticipation: your most powerful weapon in any custody battle. Creating anticipation simply means giving your child something to look forward to the next time they see you. This can be a craft session, a tea party or a camping trip, depending on the amount of time you have.
In our experience, it is usually best for separated and divorcing parents to focus on the positives in their world rather than the negatives in the other parent’s world.
These points are so vital to succeeding in child custody court that I’m going to discuss each one separately in the next few days, in a separate post. Until then I remain…
Very truly yours,
Disclaimer: Thomas D. Ferreira is an attorney licensed only in the State of California. The information set forth in this blog or on our websites are not intended to create an attorney-client relationship, nor are they intended as legal advice on your specific matter. This information is not intended to apply to cases or jurisdictions outside the State of California, and those viewing this information outside of California, or having business before jurisdictions outside of California, should consult a local professional or lawyer. The information in this blog is not a substitute for the advice of competent counsel, and is not intended, nor should it be construed, as a guarantee, warranty or prediction regarding the results of your legal matter