This is Thomas Ferreira, your Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Mediator, with this week’s edition of the Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator Blog. I’m excited to announce that our blog has been named as number 35 at Feedspot’s Top 100 Blogs and Websites for To-Be Divorced and Divorcees. I would encourage you to click on the link and explore the great transformative stuff on other blogs and websites. The more you know, the better you’ll fare on this journey of divorce.
My (divorced) mother recently asked me this question: Why are divorces so expensive? Her answer was, “because they’re worth it!”
She should know, given the riches she forked over to attorneys who gladly took her money and fed her resentment toward my father. I love my mother more than life itself, but she would have been well served to read this page before she plunked down those hefty retainers. Sadly, I was a young law student at the time of her divorce and had little to offer her other than the standard lawyer technical gobbledygook.
10 years ago I was a devoted husband to my young bride, with 2 toddler boys. I had been practicing in the field of workers’ compensation defense for about 19 years at the time, having tried hundreds of cases before the California Workers’ Compensation Appeals Board and other tribunals and courts.
Then, suddenly, I became a litigant when my now ex-wife announced that she wanted a divorce. My world turned upside-down. What should I do first? I knew nothing about California divorce law, but I was a lawyer, and I thought, well, I can figure this out if anyone can.
My first stop along the way was Dr. Deena Stacer’s high conflict class. That’s a class the court often orders when parents can’t get along. I was not ordered to take the class, but found out about it through a mutual friend.
The class was a godsend! I certainly learned how divorce litigation generates the worst forms of self-defeating behaviors. I created Divorce Life Solutions out of a passion to help others avoid shooting themselves in the foot during divorce and child custody litigation.
One epiphany was that the litigation itself was devastating to the people involved, decimating to their financial security and destructive to their happiness. I also saw litigants spending tens, and sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars walking down that path. Sorry, mom, but it’s not worth all that.
I decided to turn lemons into lemonade and you can, too. I have discovered ways to use legal services in targeted ways that avoid the thousands involved in having a divorce specialist on retainer. I have learned a set of behaviors that can transform your divorce from a grueling scorched-earth battle to a transformative experience where you achieve your dreams.
So, yes, you can save huge dough and avoid the pain and heartache of divorce litigation—simultaneously!
Look at some of the past issues for some great tips. I have some tools that will help you to chart your course if you will subscribe to my blog. But more importantly, I have hard won wisdom from having succeeded in creating my own great post divorce life, have a wonderful and satisfying relationship to my boys (now aged 12 and 13) and truly achieving my dreams. I did it and you can to.
So, tune in for next week and until then,
Love your family,
Protect your finances, and
Reach for your future!