This is Thomas Ferreira, your family law mediator and lawyer in Carlsbad California. Today I want to talk about how to involve a family law expert in your case while staying self-represented.

Are you facing child custody, divorce or another family law problem and wondering how you’ll get through the process without spending huge money on an attorney? Or perhaps you’re wondering how on earth you’re going to afford an attorney.

If this is you, I’ve got some valuable information to share, information that can save you thousands and protect your sanity and happiness.

A recent paper on self-represented and represented divorce litigants discusses surveys of both represented and unrepresented family law litigants, and contains these surprising results:

Sixty-four percent of represented people hired a lawyer because they wanted an expert to represent them.
However, self-represented divorcees had the same level of positive reaction to their court experience as those with lawyers (64 % compared to 63%), but had fewer dissatisfied and very dissatisfied reactions (16% versus 29%).
Self-representeds were more likely to report that they understood the divorce decree.
Self-representeds were less likely to seek a modification of the judge’s decision.
70% said they would represent themselves again.
What to do? My advice is to get educated on the process first. You need to know what you don’t know, and there are great resources that are available for free to get you started on understanding the process. Our office will soon be offering a free video series on what I call the 4 “Ps” of a successful divorce experience: Purpose, Planning, Process and avoiding Pitfalls.

You can use attorneys only when necessary—such as to appear for a hearing if you feel uncomfortable representing yourself, drafting a pleading or preparing settlement documents. This is called “limited scope representation.”

Take advantage of workshops in your jurisdiction and go watch some court hearings at your local courthouse. Our office offers free monthly workshops and webinars to give you the information you need. That will help you gain confidence in handling representation.

I’ve said before that the most cost-effective way to use divorce experts is through the mediation process. In mediation, you can meet with a lawyer or other professional whose role is to facilitate a conversation, not engage in battle. Self-directed divorce and custody resolutions will better stand the test of time, keep you out of court, maintain your ability to co-parent and lead to vastly more satisfied parties.

Most mediators will do all your paperwork and the required financial disclosures. The product of mediation is a divorce decree that is your own, and not the product of a third-party decision maker.

Mediation is the single best way to a successful result that benefits all parties and children. For an absolutely free explanation of how this works, feel free to give me a call.

I am …

Thomas D. Ferreira, Esq.

The post THE BEST OF ALL DIVORCE/CHILD CUSTODY WORLDS: SELF-REPRESENTATION WITH MEDIATION appeared first on Carlsbad Divorce Mediator and Legal Document Assistant.

Here’s a question: Do you know you and your spouse’s net worth? How close are you to retirement? Do you have a dream job or career that you’d love to transition into, perhaps something that your spouse has been opposed to? Do you fear that you’ll never be able to make it happen?

Perhaps you’re wondering how you will afford the legal fees and costs of a divorce, or whether, for the sake of your children, you can afford to keep the home where your family lives.

Answering these questions up front, before you go into the battle, will save you thousands in attorneys fees and help you to think clearly when solving problems. Moreover, those who are well organized and prepared tend to be more confident in court. Imagine that you are appearing in court with all your information at your fingertips, while your opposition flounders and guesses.

When my now ex-wife made the announcement that she was leaving 10 years ago, my first stop was to the family filing cabinet, and my second stop to the local Kinkos. I secured copies of these important documents:

All refinancing documents and closing papers for the homes that she and I had owned, including the one we were living in;
Fliers for the sale of those homes;
Most recent pay stubs;
Our last 3 years of income tax returns;
The most recent deed and mortgage statements for our home;
The most recent credit card and loan statements;
The latest statements for my 401(k) plan (I did not have an IRA)
Ownership and valuations of stock I owned in the firm I was then working for
6 months of checking and saving account statements;
Car payment records and other secured debt
Life insurance documents.
This is only a partial list. The court form titled FL-142, lists the documents you should attach when you are doing your financial disclosures, and can be used as a worksheet for this planning.

Plotting out my estate helped me greatly when my ex and I sat down for divorce mediation. You see, at the time of our marriage I already owned a home with very significant equity. I was entitled to reimbursement for that value under Family Code section 2640. Yet the mediator was ready to divide our home equity 50-50 between the parties. I said, “nay, nay,” and asserted my right to reimbursed for my separate contribution to the equity in our home.

Planning ahead can help you to be quick on your feet when an issue like this comes up. So I advise putting all assets and debts on a spreadsheet, and knowing what’s in the estate, and its value, before initiating proceedings. Click here to get a free asset and debt spreadsheet template. Look at some of the comparable sales in your neighborhood or go on www.zillow.com to get a rough estimate of your home’s value (you’ll eventually need a professional appraisal if the issue comes up in court, but this will give you an idea). Go to www.kbb.com to evaluate your cars.

Armed with this information, you’ll know what’s available to solve important problems, such as whether you can buy your spouse’s interest in the family home, or how to achieve your retirement goals.

I certainly wish you success and happiness along the journey you are taking. There’s going to be some hard work involved, but with good planning, your work will definitely pay off!

Very truly yours,

Thomas D. Ferreira, Esq.

The post THRIVING DURING AND AFTER DIVORCE: KNOW WHAT YOU OWN AND OWE appeared first on Carlsbad Divorce Mediator and Legal Document Assistant.