Tag Archive: Oceanside

Feb 28

YOUR FIRST STEP TO FINANCIAL SECURITY AFTER DIVORCE—COMING TO TERMS WITH YOUR FEELINGS

Ten years ago last November my then wife (now my ex-wife) announced her desire for a divorce.  Today I am self-employed and happy, remarried, spending lots of time with the kids, and getting ready for a basketball game at their school (I am an assistant JV coach!).  I did it and you can, too. Last …

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Feb 24

CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER AND MEDIATOR SPILLS THE BEANS—12 WAYS YOU ACHIEVE FINANCIAL SECURITY WITHOUT A LAWYER!

Thomas Ferreira here, your divorce attorney and mediator in Carlsbad, California.  It’s been nearly 10 years since my divorce was final.  I owned a home and had two young children of the marriage.  My current wife of about 6 years (also my office manager and financial analyst and general partner in crime) got her divorce …

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Feb 07

The Value of Intangibles in Divorce Negotiation

Some of you are in the throes of nasty divorce or child custody litigation, and some of you are headed there.  Here’s something that may seem counterintuitive at first, but I’ll make sure and explain what I mean.  Here goes: Sometimes it’s better to settle for less.  You may be thinking, wow, did a lawyer …

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Feb 02

CAN THE COURT REALLY HELP? SAGE WISDOM FROM YOUR CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER AND MEDIATOR

I see it all the time—someone goes into family court for a solution to their problem, and finds that everything is worse after the hearing than it was before. If you need proof, go and watch any Request for Order calendar at your local California Superior Court’s family division. This is not to disparage our …

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Jan 18

TWO STEPS TO GET ANY SPOUSE INTO DIVORCE MEDIATION (NO MATTER HOW RELUCTANT THEY ARE)

If you are a regular reader of this blog you already know the value of divorce mediation, as compared to plunking down a big retainer for a divorce lawyer, trying to DIY it or burying your head in the sand. “But,” you say, “you’ll never get him in to mediation.”  Or, “there’s no way I …

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Aug 18

WHAT TO DO WHEN HE/SHE WON’T PAY THE CHILD SUPPORT: A CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER’S PERSPECTIVE

After a brief detour last week, here is my next installment in my series on child support.  Many of you out there owe some child support arrears.  Many of you have a court order for child support, but the other parent just won’t pay. There are some parents who spend more than half their waking …

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Jul 26

CALCULATING CHILD SUPPORT FROM THE SUPPORTED PARENT’S POINT OF VIEW

Last week I discussed child support arguments from the payer’s perspective.  But what about the struggling parent who is charged with caring for the child and providing financially?  What about daycare and medical care?  Am I entitled to help with ball shoes, or clothes, or fees for extracurricular activities? To reiterate what I told the …

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Jul 19

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU ARE A CHILD SUPPORT PAYOR: SAGE ADVICE FROM A CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER

Last week I gave you some basics on child support, so that you can understand what you’re up against.  I talked about the origin of the current confiscatory child support rates in the politics of bashing the so-called dead-beat dads.  But here’s the irony:  the divorce system tends to split up families without requiring the …

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Jul 15

WHAT PARENTS MUST UNDERSTAND ABOUT CHILD SUPPORT: A CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER’S PERSPECTIVE

Thomas Ferreira, your child custody and divorce lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad, California, here.  Today I want to talk about child support. Have you ever been laying awake at night wondering how much you’re going to have to pay in child support?  Or perhaps you’ve done some child support calculations and you’re wondering how to …

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Jun 22

CHILD CUSTODY SECRET: KNOWING WHEN THE COURT CAN HELP YOU, AND WHEN IT CAN’T.

Thomas Ferreira here, divorce and child custody mediator in North San Diego County.  I want to let you in on a strategic secret that can save you thousands in lawyer costs and untold grief. I have a question for those of you who are divorcing, have a paternity case pending or a support case pending: …

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Apr 19

SECRET NUMBER TWO FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: HAVE THE CONVERSATION

Apr 12

FIRST OF FOUR SECRETS TO AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: Don’t Be a Hater.

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Don’t be a Hater Have you ever wished that your divorce case could be amicable?  That you could cut through the BS and the fighting and just get your ex to accept reason? The difficulties are structural, that is, built into …

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Apr 05

THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT IN A LOW-COST AMICABLE DIVORCE: BUILDING TRUST.

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Mar 29

THE BEST OF ALL DIVORCE/CHILD CUSTODY WORLDS: SELF-REPRESENTATION WITH MEDIATION.

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Represent Yourself During Divorce and Using Mediation This is Thomas Ferreira, your family law mediator and lawyer in Carlsbad California.  Today I want to talk about how to involve a family law expert in your case while staying self-represented. Are you facing child custody, divorce or …

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Mar 22

THRIVING DURING AND AFTER DIVORCE: KNOW WHAT YOU OWN AND OWE

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator on How to Divide Community Property Here’s a question:  Do you know you and your spouse’s net worth?  How close are you to retirement?  Do you have a dream job or career that you’d love to transition into, perhaps something that your spouse has been opposed to?  Do you …

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Mar 15

THRIVING DURING AND AFTER DIVORCE: PLANNING FOR SUPPORT CALCULATIONS

I’m Thomas Ferreira, your divorce and child custody mediator and lawyer in Carlsbad, serving North San Diego County and Riverside County with family legal services. Have you ever been laying awake at night wondering just how much support you’re going to have to pay?  Or maybe you’re cause of insomnia is how much support you …

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Mar 03

WHAT IS YOUR “BIG, GIGANTIC WHY?”

Thomas Ferreira, here, your Carlsbad divorce mediator and attorney.  I’ve been thinking back on my own journey as a divorced parent.  Have you ever felt like your world was coming to an end because, either your spouse has left you and taken the children with him/her?  Or, have you decided that you can’t tolerate the …

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Aug 28

ON THAT MIDNIGHT TRAIN TO GEORGIA—WITH YOUR CHILDREN.

Child custody move-away cases are nerve-jangling, even for us child custody lawyers and mediators who deal with them day in and day out.  I have been on a 2-week roll involving several “move-away” cases.  These are cases where a custodial parent has decided to move with the child to another county, or even another state.  …

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Jun 10

TV VERSUS REALITY AND HOW TO SUCCEED IN FAMILY COURT

When I’m representing clients in family court, I want them to succeed.  I’m looking for a “good day in court,” a result that solves the problems arising in a divorcing family, a result that leaves our client feeling that the court heard and considered their side of the issues. Often our clients don’t realize how …

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May 28

REFRAMING SPOUSAL SUPPORT NEGOTIATIONS: THE LAW AND THE GOOSE THAT LAID THE GOLDEN EGG

Whenever I do mediation, I’m presented with adverse parties, many of whom are angry and upset that they are not at fault for the divorce, and yet are facing the imposition of tremendous financial burdens. In mediation, I assist divorcing spouses to reframe the discussions away from what is “owed,” and toward what each party …

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Mar 24

IS ALIMONY REALLY FAIR IN A NO FAULT DIVORCE?

While researching cases for premarital agreement, I came across a case in 2000 where the California Supreme Court was asked to rule on whether couples to be married could waive spousal support (alimony) in a premarital (or prenuptial) agreement.  The case is Marriage of Pendleton which you can find by going to the state’s case …

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Oct 28

CHILD CUSTODY SECRET NUMBER THREE: MOTIVATE YOUR CHILD TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU

Here is the fourth and final installment of The Best Free Advice on Child Custody Ever, and I’ve saved the best for last.  I give this advice not so much as a child custody lawyer, but as a parent.  And here’s the secret: Your children will want to spend time with you when they have …

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Oct 01

CHILD CUSTODY SECRET NUMBER 2: THE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP IS KING

This is Thomas Ferreira, your Carlsbad Child Custody, visitation and divorce attorney, with the third installment on the best strategy to get more parenting time.  When the court is involved, it is important to understand the spirit and the letter of child custody law.  California family recognizes this in Family Code section 3040: (a) Custody …

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Sep 09

THE BEST FREE ADVICE ON CHILD CUSTODY EVER—3 WAYS TO TIP THE SCALES IN YOUR FAVOR

Hello again from Thomas Ferreira, your child custody, family, divorce and support mediator and lawyer serving California cities of Carlsbad, San Marcos, Vista, Oceanside, San Diego and surrounding areas. I want to address a specific situation where you get child custody and visitation orders that are  restrictive of your visitation, don’t give you enough time …

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Mar 03

SHARING KIDS WHEN YOU USED TO LIVE TOGETHER: HOW TO START OFF WELL.

You’ve had about all you can take, and you’ve decided to move out of your girlfriend’s house.  But there’s a little problem, one that weighs about 25 pounds and follows you around a lot—your 2-year-old son with her. Or on the other side, you’ve asked him to leave, but you know that your little girl …

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