Tag Archive: mediator

Jul 25

The Philosophy of Divorce

THE PHILOSOPHY OF DIVORCE This is Thomas Ferreira, your family law attorney and mediator in Carlsbad California. Today I want to tell you about a philosophy of going through a divorce, child custody, support or other family law matter. If you are already in the thick of family law litigation you will recognize some of …

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Aug 30

ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN’T CHANGE, CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN: WISDOM FROM A CARLSBAD DIVORCE(D) LAWYER

The divorce process sucks no matter how you slice it.  You’re thrust into a system you likely didn’t want to be in, where decisions are made by others and often are difficult or impossible to control.  The one person you thought you could count on forever is now your adversary.  The attorneys see your case …

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Aug 10

YOUR BEST WEAPON IN CHILD CUSTODY DISPUTES: KINDNESS.

Thomas Ferreira, your child custody and divorce lawyer in Carlsbad California here.  Last week I said I was going to go over some finer points about calculating child support.  I think I’m going to put that off until next week so I can share what could be the most powerful tool in your toolbox for …

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Mar 24

IS ALIMONY REALLY FAIR IN A NO FAULT DIVORCE?

While researching cases for premarital agreement, I came across a case in 2000 where the California Supreme Court was asked to rule on whether couples to be married could waive spousal support (alimony) in a premarital (or prenuptial) agreement.  The case is Marriage of Pendleton which you can find by going to the state’s case …

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Mar 19

THAT’S NOT FAIR

It’s what I call the divorcee’s lament.  I hear it in court, mostly from self-represented litigants.  I hear it when I consult with clients.  I hear it in mediation.  Say it with me:  “that’s not fair!” No, what’s happening in divorce court is not fair, and most people leave family court feeling like they’ve been …

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Oct 28

CHILD CUSTODY SECRET NUMBER THREE: MOTIVATE YOUR CHILD TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU

Here is the fourth and final installment of The Best Free Advice on Child Custody Ever, and I’ve saved the best for last.  I give this advice not so much as a child custody lawyer, but as a parent.  And here’s the secret: Your children will want to spend time with you when they have …

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Sep 15

CHILD CUSTODY SECRET NUMBER ONE: HOW TO LAY THE GROUNDWORK BEFORE REQUESTING COURT ORDERS

As promised, here is the second installment on my series, Best Child Custody Advice Ever.  This advice is mostly for non-custodial parents who want more time with the children.  I don’t generally consider myself a “father’s rights” attorney—my philosophy is that each co-parent after a divorce or separation brings something unique and important to the …

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Sep 09

THE BEST FREE ADVICE ON CHILD CUSTODY EVER—3 WAYS TO TIP THE SCALES IN YOUR FAVOR

Hello again from Thomas Ferreira, your child custody, family, divorce and support mediator and lawyer serving California cities of Carlsbad, San Marcos, Vista, Oceanside, San Diego and surrounding areas. I want to address a specific situation where you get child custody and visitation orders that are  restrictive of your visitation, don’t give you enough time …

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Mar 03

SHARING KIDS WHEN YOU USED TO LIVE TOGETHER: HOW TO START OFF WELL.

You’ve had about all you can take, and you’ve decided to move out of your girlfriend’s house.  But there’s a little problem, one that weighs about 25 pounds and follows you around a lot—your 2-year-old son with her. Or on the other side, you’ve asked him to leave, but you know that your little girl …

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