Tag Archive: child custody

Dec 05

GETTING MORE TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN: MORE TIPS FROM A DIVORC(ED) LAWYER AND FATHER

In this post, I’ll be giving you more ideas on how to lay the groundwork for success when you’re before Family Court Services, custody evaluators and even judges. Many of these decision makers got into this work because they care about children, and most want to see the type of parenting that their scientific studies and clinical training have told them is “good.”

Mar 16

It’s True: You Really Can Divorce Inexpensively While Achieving Your Dreams And Here’s How…

This is Thomas Ferreira, your Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Mediator, with this week’s edition of the Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator Blog.  I’m excited to announce that our blog has been named as number 35 at Feedspot’s Top 100 Blogs and Websites for To-Be Divorced and Divorcees.  I would encourage you to click on …

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Mar 08

EXPERT CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER SHARES THREE STEPS TO FINANCIAL SECURITY IN THE EARLY STAGES OF DIVORCE.

Thomas Ferreira here, your expert divorce lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad California.  Last week I went over how to gain some calm and equanimity when you are facing divorce.  Now it’s time to take a good hard look at what it’s going to take.  This blog will help you formulate your escape plan, whether you …

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Feb 28

YOUR FIRST STEP TO FINANCIAL SECURITY AFTER DIVORCE—COMING TO TERMS WITH YOUR FEELINGS

Ten years ago last November my then wife (now my ex-wife) announced her desire for a divorce.  Today I am self-employed and happy, remarried, spending lots of time with the kids, and getting ready for a basketball game at their school (I am an assistant JV coach!).  I did it and you can, too. Last …

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Feb 24

CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER AND MEDIATOR SPILLS THE BEANS—12 WAYS YOU ACHIEVE FINANCIAL SECURITY WITHOUT A LAWYER!

Thomas Ferreira here, your divorce attorney and mediator in Carlsbad, California.  It’s been nearly 10 years since my divorce was final.  I owned a home and had two young children of the marriage.  My current wife of about 6 years (also my office manager and financial analyst and general partner in crime) got her divorce …

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Feb 07

The Value of Intangibles in Divorce Negotiation

Some of you are in the throes of nasty divorce or child custody litigation, and some of you are headed there.  Here’s something that may seem counterintuitive at first, but I’ll make sure and explain what I mean.  Here goes: Sometimes it’s better to settle for less.  You may be thinking, wow, did a lawyer …

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Feb 02

CAN THE COURT REALLY HELP? SAGE WISDOM FROM YOUR CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER AND MEDIATOR

I see it all the time—someone goes into family court for a solution to their problem, and finds that everything is worse after the hearing than it was before. If you need proof, go and watch any Request for Order calendar at your local California Superior Court’s family division. This is not to disparage our …

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Jan 18

TWO STEPS TO GET ANY SPOUSE INTO DIVORCE MEDIATION (NO MATTER HOW RELUCTANT THEY ARE)

If you are a regular reader of this blog you already know the value of divorce mediation, as compared to plunking down a big retainer for a divorce lawyer, trying to DIY it or burying your head in the sand. “But,” you say, “you’ll never get him in to mediation.”  Or, “there’s no way I …

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Sep 29

“WTF” AND OTHER RESPONSES TO OUR FACEBOOK ADVERTISING

This is Thomas Ferreira, your Carlsbad Divorce lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad, California.  Tammy (my wife and co-mediator) and I do a monthly workshop to provide an overview of the divorce process and also to help folks find the meaning in the pain they’re going through. We offer the workshop completely free, as a service …

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Aug 30

ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN’T CHANGE, CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN: WISDOM FROM A CARLSBAD DIVORCE(D) LAWYER

The divorce process sucks no matter how you slice it.  You’re thrust into a system you likely didn’t want to be in, where decisions are made by others and often are difficult or impossible to control.  The one person you thought you could count on forever is now your adversary.  The attorneys see your case …

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Aug 10

YOUR BEST WEAPON IN CHILD CUSTODY DISPUTES: KINDNESS.

Thomas Ferreira, your child custody and divorce lawyer in Carlsbad California here.  Last week I said I was going to go over some finer points about calculating child support.  I think I’m going to put that off until next week so I can share what could be the most powerful tool in your toolbox for …

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Jun 22

CHILD CUSTODY SECRET: KNOWING WHEN THE COURT CAN HELP YOU, AND WHEN IT CAN’T.

Thomas Ferreira here, divorce and child custody mediator in North San Diego County.  I want to let you in on a strategic secret that can save you thousands in lawyer costs and untold grief. I have a question for those of you who are divorcing, have a paternity case pending or a support case pending: …

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Apr 05

THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT IN A LOW-COST AMICABLE DIVORCE: BUILDING TRUST.

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Mar 15

THRIVING DURING AND AFTER DIVORCE: PLANNING FOR SUPPORT CALCULATIONS

I’m Thomas Ferreira, your divorce and child custody mediator and lawyer in Carlsbad, serving North San Diego County and Riverside County with family legal services. Have you ever been laying awake at night wondering just how much support you’re going to have to pay?  Or maybe you’re cause of insomnia is how much support you …

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Aug 24

DON’T DO IT, MAN

As a divorce lawyer and mediator, you might expect me to be salivating over the hacking of Ashley Madison and the publication of its subscription list.  My friends and colleagues joke that we divorce lawyers and mediators should get ready for a wave of new business from those who will soon be outed to their …

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Jun 10

TV VERSUS REALITY AND HOW TO SUCCEED IN FAMILY COURT

When I’m representing clients in family court, I want them to succeed.  I’m looking for a “good day in court,” a result that solves the problems arising in a divorcing family, a result that leaves our client feeling that the court heard and considered their side of the issues. Often our clients don’t realize how …

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Mar 19

THAT’S NOT FAIR

It’s what I call the divorcee’s lament.  I hear it in court, mostly from self-represented litigants.  I hear it when I consult with clients.  I hear it in mediation.  Say it with me:  “that’s not fair!” No, what’s happening in divorce court is not fair, and most people leave family court feeling like they’ve been …

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Mar 03

SHARING KIDS WHEN YOU USED TO LIVE TOGETHER: HOW TO START OFF WELL.

You’ve had about all you can take, and you’ve decided to move out of your girlfriend’s house.  But there’s a little problem, one that weighs about 25 pounds and follows you around a lot—your 2-year-old son with her. Or on the other side, you’ve asked him to leave, but you know that your little girl …

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Nov 27

GETTING MORE TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN: 5 TIPS FROM A DIVORC(ED) LAWYER AND FATHER

You may remember Bill Clinton’s slogan when he ran against the elder George Bush in 1992, “Its the economy, stupid.” In custody disputes, substitute the words “parent-child relationship,” and you have an excellent formula for influencing court mediators and judges, and getting more time with your children. Always remember that it’s a marathon, not a sprint, and the seeds you sow in relationship now are likely to bear fruit years later in the form of healthier, closer family relationships, and happier children.