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Tag: amicable divorce

MEDIATION: THE BEST WAY TO AVOID TOTAL WAR IN YOUR DIVORCE

Thomas Ferreira here, your family law lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad, California. I know it will sound weird to many of you, but I just love reading history books.  It’s always good for divorced and divorcing people to have hobbies, and being an armchair historian is one of mine.  I find the human condition fascinating, …

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DIVORCE LAWYERS AND WIN-LOSE THINKING

We have the late Stephen Covey to thank for the wonderful concept of “win-win thinking.”  Win-win seeks to find solutions that serve as many interests as possible.  Win-lose thinking sees the world as populated by 2 types of people:  winners and losers.  According to a win-lose paradigm, there is a finite amount of value, stuff …

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SELECT YOUR DIVORCE LAWYER ACCORDING TO YOUR VALUES

If you or a loved one are facing divorce in California, deciding what help you need can be daunting.  There are so many lawyers out there.  Whom should you pick?  How about the one who promises to take the gloves off?  How about the pictures of gavels and cherry-paneled law libraries?  The one that charges …

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DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER 5: The Power of Trust

As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.—Mahatma Gandhi Today’s is a low trust world.  That’s why there’s so much bullying, fighting and litigation.  Don’t you wish you could live in a better world?  You can.  I’ve seen it happen in divorce cases over and over …

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DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER FOUR: Avoiding the “A” Bomb

Thomas Ferreira here for this installment of my five secrets to successful divorce negotiation.  Today I want to talk about dropping the “A” bomb.  The “A” stands for “attribution.”  Dropping an attribution can produce a 5 megaton explosion guaranteed to blow up your negotiations. How many of you have been trying to influence someone, and …

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DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER THREE: The Curiosity Stance

FIVE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATION. Secret 2: The Magic of Converting Positions to Interests

FIVE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATION. Secret 1: Know What You Want in Advance

FIVE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATION. Secret 1: Know What You Want in Advance Thomas Ferreira here, divorce and child custody lawyer and mediator in North San Diego County.  Today I want to share the first of five secrets to negotiating agreements with your ex. How many of you out there can’t seem to get your …

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HOW TO FIND THE RIGHT ATTORNEY (IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK).

How to Find the Right Attorney – It’s Not What You Think The usual attorney sales pitch starts and ends with the attorney’s credentials, the attorney’s education and attorney’s accomplishments.  It proceeds through a proven sales formula involving fear of loss, a fear that is already front and center for most of you. But if …

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SECRET NUMBER FOUR FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.

SECRET NUMBER FOUR FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff And it’s all small stuff, right?  Not necessarily.  In my own situation, with sons ages 11 and 12, my ex and I are currently …

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SECRET NUMBER THREE FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: OPT OUT OF THE ADVERSARY SYSTEM

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Opt Out of the Adversary System Here’s a declaration against interest if ever there was one:  I am an attorney with a family law and child custody litigation practice, and I am saying that, whenever possible, opt out of the traditional …

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