Category Archive: Saving money on divorce

Mar 16

It’s True: You Really Can Divorce Inexpensively While Achieving Your Dreams And Here’s How…

This is Thomas Ferreira, your Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Mediator, with this week’s edition of the Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator Blog.  I’m excited to announce that our blog has been named as number 35 at Feedspot’s Top 100 Blogs and Websites for To-Be Divorced and Divorcees.  I would encourage you to click on …

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Mar 08

EXPERT CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER SHARES THREE STEPS TO FINANCIAL SECURITY IN THE EARLY STAGES OF DIVORCE.

Thomas Ferreira here, your expert divorce lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad California.  Last week I went over how to gain some calm and equanimity when you are facing divorce.  Now it’s time to take a good hard look at what it’s going to take.  This blog will help you formulate your escape plan, whether you …

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Feb 28

YOUR FIRST STEP TO FINANCIAL SECURITY AFTER DIVORCE—COMING TO TERMS WITH YOUR FEELINGS

Ten years ago last November my then wife (now my ex-wife) announced her desire for a divorce.  Today I am self-employed and happy, remarried, spending lots of time with the kids, and getting ready for a basketball game at their school (I am an assistant JV coach!).  I did it and you can, too. Last …

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Feb 24

CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER AND MEDIATOR SPILLS THE BEANS—12 WAYS YOU ACHIEVE FINANCIAL SECURITY WITHOUT A LAWYER!

Thomas Ferreira here, your divorce attorney and mediator in Carlsbad, California.  It’s been nearly 10 years since my divorce was final.  I owned a home and had two young children of the marriage.  My current wife of about 6 years (also my office manager and financial analyst and general partner in crime) got her divorce …

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Feb 07

The Value of Intangibles in Divorce Negotiation

Some of you are in the throes of nasty divorce or child custody litigation, and some of you are headed there.  Here’s something that may seem counterintuitive at first, but I’ll make sure and explain what I mean.  Here goes: Sometimes it’s better to settle for less.  You may be thinking, wow, did a lawyer …

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Feb 02

CAN THE COURT REALLY HELP? SAGE WISDOM FROM YOUR CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER AND MEDIATOR

I see it all the time—someone goes into family court for a solution to their problem, and finds that everything is worse after the hearing than it was before. If you need proof, go and watch any Request for Order calendar at your local California Superior Court’s family division. This is not to disparage our …

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Sep 29

“WTF” AND OTHER RESPONSES TO OUR FACEBOOK ADVERTISING

This is Thomas Ferreira, your Carlsbad Divorce lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad, California.  Tammy (my wife and co-mediator) and I do a monthly workshop to provide an overview of the divorce process and also to help folks find the meaning in the pain they’re going through. We offer the workshop completely free, as a service …

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Sep 23

MEDIATION: THE BEST WAY TO AVOID TOTAL WAR IN YOUR DIVORCE

Thomas Ferreira here, your family law lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad, California. I know it will sound weird to many of you, but I just love reading history books.  It’s always good for divorced and divorcing people to have hobbies, and being an armchair historian is one of mine.  I find the human condition fascinating, …

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Sep 13

DIVORCE LAWYERS AND WIN-LOSE THINKING

We have the late Stephen Covey to thank for the wonderful concept of “win-win thinking.”  Win-win seeks to find solutions that serve as many interests as possible.  Win-lose thinking sees the world as populated by 2 types of people:  winners and losers.  According to a win-lose paradigm, there is a finite amount of value, stuff …

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Sep 07

SELECT YOUR DIVORCE LAWYER ACCORDING TO YOUR VALUES

If you or a loved one are facing divorce in California, deciding what help you need can be daunting.  There are so many lawyers out there.  Whom should you pick?  How about the one who promises to take the gloves off?  How about the pictures of gavels and cherry-paneled law libraries?  The one that charges …

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Aug 30

ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN’T CHANGE, CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN: WISDOM FROM A CARLSBAD DIVORCE(D) LAWYER

The divorce process sucks no matter how you slice it.  You’re thrust into a system you likely didn’t want to be in, where decisions are made by others and often are difficult or impossible to control.  The one person you thought you could count on forever is now your adversary.  The attorneys see your case …

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Jun 16

DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER 5: The Power of Trust

As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.—Mahatma Gandhi Today’s is a low trust world.  That’s why there’s so much bullying, fighting and litigation.  Don’t you wish you could live in a better world?  You can.  I’ve seen it happen in divorce cases over and over …

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Jun 07

DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER FOUR: Avoiding the “A” Bomb

Thomas Ferreira here for this installment of my five secrets to successful divorce negotiation.  Today I want to talk about dropping the “A” bomb.  The “A” stands for “attribution.”  Dropping an attribution can produce a 5 megaton explosion guaranteed to blow up your negotiations. How many of you have been trying to influence someone, and …

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Jun 01

DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER THREE: The Curiosity Stance

May 25

FIVE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATION. Secret 2: The Magic of Converting Positions to Interests

May 17

FIVE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATION. Secret 1: Know What You Want in Advance

FIVE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATION. Secret 1: Know What You Want in Advance Thomas Ferreira here, divorce and child custody lawyer and mediator in North San Diego County.  Today I want to share the first of five secrets to negotiating agreements with your ex. How many of you out there can’t seem to get your …

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May 10

HOW TO FIND THE RIGHT ATTORNEY (IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK).

How to Find the Right Attorney – It’s Not What You Think The usual attorney sales pitch starts and ends with the attorney’s credentials, the attorney’s education and attorney’s accomplishments.  It proceeds through a proven sales formula involving fear of loss, a fear that is already front and center for most of you. But if …

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May 03

SECRET NUMBER FOUR FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.

SECRET NUMBER FOUR FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff And it’s all small stuff, right?  Not necessarily.  In my own situation, with sons ages 11 and 12, my ex and I are currently …

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Apr 27

SECRET NUMBER THREE FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: OPT OUT OF THE ADVERSARY SYSTEM

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Opt Out of the Adversary System Here’s a declaration against interest if ever there was one:  I am an attorney with a family law and child custody litigation practice, and I am saying that, whenever possible, opt out of the traditional …

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Apr 19

SECRET NUMBER TWO FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: HAVE THE CONVERSATION

Apr 12

FIRST OF FOUR SECRETS TO AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: Don’t Be a Hater.

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Don’t be a Hater Have you ever wished that your divorce case could be amicable?  That you could cut through the BS and the fighting and just get your ex to accept reason? The difficulties are structural, that is, built into …

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Apr 05

THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT IN A LOW-COST AMICABLE DIVORCE: BUILDING TRUST.

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Mar 29

THE BEST OF ALL DIVORCE/CHILD CUSTODY WORLDS: SELF-REPRESENTATION WITH MEDIATION.

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Represent Yourself During Divorce and Using Mediation This is Thomas Ferreira, your family law mediator and lawyer in Carlsbad California.  Today I want to talk about how to involve a family law expert in your case while staying self-represented. Are you facing child custody, divorce or …

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Mar 15

THRIVING DURING AND AFTER DIVORCE: PLANNING FOR SUPPORT CALCULATIONS

I’m Thomas Ferreira, your divorce and child custody mediator and lawyer in Carlsbad, serving North San Diego County and Riverside County with family legal services. Have you ever been laying awake at night wondering just how much support you’re going to have to pay?  Or maybe you’re cause of insomnia is how much support you …

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Jun 10

TV VERSUS REALITY AND HOW TO SUCCEED IN FAMILY COURT

When I’m representing clients in family court, I want them to succeed.  I’m looking for a “good day in court,” a result that solves the problems arising in a divorcing family, a result that leaves our client feeling that the court heard and considered their side of the issues. Often our clients don’t realize how …

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