Category Archive: Propsering After Divorce

Mar 16

It’s True: You Really Can Divorce Inexpensively While Achieving Your Dreams And Here’s How…

This is Thomas Ferreira, your Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Mediator, with this week’s edition of the Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator Blog.  I’m excited to announce that our blog has been named as number 35 at Feedspot’s Top 100 Blogs and Websites for To-Be Divorced and Divorcees.  I would encourage you to click on …

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Feb 28

YOUR FIRST STEP TO FINANCIAL SECURITY AFTER DIVORCE—COMING TO TERMS WITH YOUR FEELINGS

Ten years ago last November my then wife (now my ex-wife) announced her desire for a divorce.  Today I am self-employed and happy, remarried, spending lots of time with the kids, and getting ready for a basketball game at their school (I am an assistant JV coach!).  I did it and you can, too. Last …

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Feb 24

CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER AND MEDIATOR SPILLS THE BEANS—12 WAYS YOU ACHIEVE FINANCIAL SECURITY WITHOUT A LAWYER!

Thomas Ferreira here, your divorce attorney and mediator in Carlsbad, California.  It’s been nearly 10 years since my divorce was final.  I owned a home and had two young children of the marriage.  My current wife of about 6 years (also my office manager and financial analyst and general partner in crime) got her divorce …

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Sep 29

“WTF” AND OTHER RESPONSES TO OUR FACEBOOK ADVERTISING

This is Thomas Ferreira, your Carlsbad Divorce lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad, California.  Tammy (my wife and co-mediator) and I do a monthly workshop to provide an overview of the divorce process and also to help folks find the meaning in the pain they’re going through. We offer the workshop completely free, as a service …

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Sep 23

MEDIATION: THE BEST WAY TO AVOID TOTAL WAR IN YOUR DIVORCE

Thomas Ferreira here, your family law lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad, California. I know it will sound weird to many of you, but I just love reading history books.  It’s always good for divorced and divorcing people to have hobbies, and being an armchair historian is one of mine.  I find the human condition fascinating, …

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Sep 13

DIVORCE LAWYERS AND WIN-LOSE THINKING

We have the late Stephen Covey to thank for the wonderful concept of “win-win thinking.”  Win-win seeks to find solutions that serve as many interests as possible.  Win-lose thinking sees the world as populated by 2 types of people:  winners and losers.  According to a win-lose paradigm, there is a finite amount of value, stuff …

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Sep 07

SELECT YOUR DIVORCE LAWYER ACCORDING TO YOUR VALUES

If you or a loved one are facing divorce in California, deciding what help you need can be daunting.  There are so many lawyers out there.  Whom should you pick?  How about the one who promises to take the gloves off?  How about the pictures of gavels and cherry-paneled law libraries?  The one that charges …

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Aug 30

ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN’T CHANGE, CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN: WISDOM FROM A CARLSBAD DIVORCE(D) LAWYER

The divorce process sucks no matter how you slice it.  You’re thrust into a system you likely didn’t want to be in, where decisions are made by others and often are difficult or impossible to control.  The one person you thought you could count on forever is now your adversary.  The attorneys see your case …

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Jun 01

DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER THREE: The Curiosity Stance

Apr 27

SECRET NUMBER THREE FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: OPT OUT OF THE ADVERSARY SYSTEM

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Opt Out of the Adversary System Here’s a declaration against interest if ever there was one:  I am an attorney with a family law and child custody litigation practice, and I am saying that, whenever possible, opt out of the traditional …

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Apr 19

SECRET NUMBER TWO FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: HAVE THE CONVERSATION

Apr 12

FIRST OF FOUR SECRETS TO AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: Don’t Be a Hater.

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Don’t be a Hater Have you ever wished that your divorce case could be amicable?  That you could cut through the BS and the fighting and just get your ex to accept reason? The difficulties are structural, that is, built into …

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Apr 05

THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT IN A LOW-COST AMICABLE DIVORCE: BUILDING TRUST.

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Mar 03

WHAT IS YOUR “BIG, GIGANTIC WHY?”

Thomas Ferreira, here, your Carlsbad divorce mediator and attorney.  I’ve been thinking back on my own journey as a divorced parent.  Have you ever felt like your world was coming to an end because, either your spouse has left you and taken the children with him/her?  Or, have you decided that you can’t tolerate the …

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Jun 10

TV VERSUS REALITY AND HOW TO SUCCEED IN FAMILY COURT

When I’m representing clients in family court, I want them to succeed.  I’m looking for a “good day in court,” a result that solves the problems arising in a divorcing family, a result that leaves our client feeling that the court heard and considered their side of the issues. Often our clients don’t realize how …

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Mar 24

IS ALIMONY REALLY FAIR IN A NO FAULT DIVORCE?

While researching cases for premarital agreement, I came across a case in 2000 where the California Supreme Court was asked to rule on whether couples to be married could waive spousal support (alimony) in a premarital (or prenuptial) agreement.  The case is Marriage of Pendleton which you can find by going to the state’s case …

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Mar 19

THAT’S NOT FAIR

It’s what I call the divorcee’s lament.  I hear it in court, mostly from self-represented litigants.  I hear it when I consult with clients.  I hear it in mediation.  Say it with me:  “that’s not fair!” No, what’s happening in divorce court is not fair, and most people leave family court feeling like they’ve been …

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