Category Archive: Mediation

Explains mediation and its benefits for divorcing people.

Feb 24

CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER AND MEDIATOR SPILLS THE BEANS—12 WAYS YOU ACHIEVE FINANCIAL SECURITY WITHOUT A LAWYER!

Thomas Ferreira here, your divorce attorney and mediator in Carlsbad, California.  It’s been nearly 10 years since my divorce was final.  I owned a home and had two young children of the marriage.  My current wife of about 6 years (also my office manager and financial analyst and general partner in crime) got her divorce …

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Jun 07

DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER FOUR: Avoiding the “A” Bomb

Thomas Ferreira here for this installment of my five secrets to successful divorce negotiation.  Today I want to talk about dropping the “A” bomb.  The “A” stands for “attribution.”  Dropping an attribution can produce a 5 megaton explosion guaranteed to blow up your negotiations. How many of you have been trying to influence someone, and …

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May 17

FIVE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATION. Secret 1: Know What You Want in Advance

FIVE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATION. Secret 1: Know What You Want in Advance Thomas Ferreira here, divorce and child custody lawyer and mediator in North San Diego County.  Today I want to share the first of five secrets to negotiating agreements with your ex. How many of you out there can’t seem to get your …

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May 03

SECRET NUMBER FOUR FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.

SECRET NUMBER FOUR FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff And it’s all small stuff, right?  Not necessarily.  In my own situation, with sons ages 11 and 12, my ex and I are currently …

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Apr 19

SECRET NUMBER TWO FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: HAVE THE CONVERSATION

Apr 05

THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT IN A LOW-COST AMICABLE DIVORCE: BUILDING TRUST.

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May 28

REFRAMING SPOUSAL SUPPORT NEGOTIATIONS: THE LAW AND THE GOOSE THAT LAID THE GOLDEN EGG

Whenever I do mediation, I’m presented with adverse parties, many of whom are angry and upset that they are not at fault for the divorce, and yet are facing the imposition of tremendous financial burdens. In mediation, I assist divorcing spouses to reframe the discussions away from what is “owed,” and toward what each party …

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Nov 21

FOR HIGH NET WORTH PEOPLE, DIVORCE MEDIATION IS SUPERIOR TO HIGH-PRICED LAWYERS

Most people have no idea what you have sacrificed to amass a high net worth. If your estate is worth $10 million or more, chances are you didn’t inherit the money or win the lottery. Instead, you deferred gratification, investing regularly in your savings and investment accounts, while driving an older car, forgoing that night …

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Nov 11

DIVORCE: BEFORE YOU GET A LAWYER

The biggest mistake most divorcing couples make is to assume that it is necessary to immediately run to an agressive lawyer and begin this process. But all too often, through the process of posturing (taking extreme positions to gain negotiating advantage) and “take no prisoners” litigation, well-meaning family lawyers only pour gasoline on the fire of family conflict. If you are embarking on the path of divorce, you need to make good decisions early in the case, for the benefit of your finances and your children. The best outcomes come when the parties have support from others going through what they are going through, are fully informed of their rights and obligations under the family code, and when they are able to resolve differences without resorting to court battles.