Category Archive: Divorce Mediation

Feb 07

The Value of Intangibles in Divorce Negotiation

Some of you are in the throes of nasty divorce or child custody litigation, and some of you are headed there.  Here’s something that may seem counterintuitive at first, but I’ll make sure and explain what I mean.  Here goes: Sometimes it’s better to settle for less.  You may be thinking, wow, did a lawyer …

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Jan 18

TWO STEPS TO GET ANY SPOUSE INTO DIVORCE MEDIATION (NO MATTER HOW RELUCTANT THEY ARE)

If you are a regular reader of this blog you already know the value of divorce mediation, as compared to plunking down a big retainer for a divorce lawyer, trying to DIY it or burying your head in the sand. “But,” you say, “you’ll never get him in to mediation.”  Or, “there’s no way I …

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Sep 29

“WTF” AND OTHER RESPONSES TO OUR FACEBOOK ADVERTISING

This is Thomas Ferreira, your Carlsbad Divorce lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad, California.  Tammy (my wife and co-mediator) and I do a monthly workshop to provide an overview of the divorce process and also to help folks find the meaning in the pain they’re going through. We offer the workshop completely free, as a service …

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Sep 23

MEDIATION: THE BEST WAY TO AVOID TOTAL WAR IN YOUR DIVORCE

Thomas Ferreira here, your family law lawyer and mediator in Carlsbad, California. I know it will sound weird to many of you, but I just love reading history books.  It’s always good for divorced and divorcing people to have hobbies, and being an armchair historian is one of mine.  I find the human condition fascinating, …

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Sep 13

DIVORCE LAWYERS AND WIN-LOSE THINKING

We have the late Stephen Covey to thank for the wonderful concept of “win-win thinking.”  Win-win seeks to find solutions that serve as many interests as possible.  Win-lose thinking sees the world as populated by 2 types of people:  winners and losers.  According to a win-lose paradigm, there is a finite amount of value, stuff …

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Sep 07

SELECT YOUR DIVORCE LAWYER ACCORDING TO YOUR VALUES

If you or a loved one are facing divorce in California, deciding what help you need can be daunting.  There are so many lawyers out there.  Whom should you pick?  How about the one who promises to take the gloves off?  How about the pictures of gavels and cherry-paneled law libraries?  The one that charges …

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Jun 16

DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER 5: The Power of Trust

As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.—Mahatma Gandhi Today’s is a low trust world.  That’s why there’s so much bullying, fighting and litigation.  Don’t you wish you could live in a better world?  You can.  I’ve seen it happen in divorce cases over and over …

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Jun 07

DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER FOUR: Avoiding the “A” Bomb

Thomas Ferreira here for this installment of my five secrets to successful divorce negotiation.  Today I want to talk about dropping the “A” bomb.  The “A” stands for “attribution.”  Dropping an attribution can produce a 5 megaton explosion guaranteed to blow up your negotiations. How many of you have been trying to influence someone, and …

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Jun 01

DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER THREE: The Curiosity Stance

May 25

FIVE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATION. Secret 2: The Magic of Converting Positions to Interests

Apr 27

SECRET NUMBER THREE FOR AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: OPT OUT OF THE ADVERSARY SYSTEM

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Opt Out of the Adversary System Here’s a declaration against interest if ever there was one:  I am an attorney with a family law and child custody litigation practice, and I am saying that, whenever possible, opt out of the traditional …

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Apr 12

FIRST OF FOUR SECRETS TO AN AMICABLE DIVORCE: Don’t Be a Hater.

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Have an Amicable Divorce – Don’t be a Hater Have you ever wished that your divorce case could be amicable?  That you could cut through the BS and the fighting and just get your ex to accept reason? The difficulties are structural, that is, built into …

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Mar 29

THE BEST OF ALL DIVORCE/CHILD CUSTODY WORLDS: SELF-REPRESENTATION WITH MEDIATION.

Carlsbad Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator discusses How to Represent Yourself During Divorce and Using Mediation This is Thomas Ferreira, your family law mediator and lawyer in Carlsbad California.  Today I want to talk about how to involve a family law expert in your case while staying self-represented. Are you facing child custody, divorce or …

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Aug 24

DON’T DO IT, MAN

As a divorce lawyer and mediator, you might expect me to be salivating over the hacking of Ashley Madison and the publication of its subscription list.  My friends and colleagues joke that we divorce lawyers and mediators should get ready for a wave of new business from those who will soon be outed to their …

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Mar 13

SAGE ADVICE FROM YOUR CARLSBAD DIVORCE ATTORNEY AND MEDIATOR

Thomas Ferreira here, your top-flight divorce lawyer and mediator serving Carlsbad, Oceanside, Vista, San Marcos and surrounding cities. I’ve had some experiences lately that have moved me to write about how to save costly attorney’s fees and confrontation in court. Here’s a hint: usually it’s best not to hire the most aggressive divorce attorney in …

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Sep 10

CALIFORNIA DIVORCE: STAYING OUT OF COURT AND OUT OF THE POORHOUSE

CALIFORNIA DIVORCE: STAYING OUT OF COURT AND OUT OF THE POORHOUSE Please join the founder of Divorce Life Solutions, Thomas D. Ferreira, Esq., and Tammy R. Ferreira, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ for an information-packed seminar on how to do your divorce right. At this seminar you will learn: How to cooperate in raising your children …

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Nov 16

THE NBA LOCKOUT: THE SKILLS OF A DIVORCE MEDIATOR MIGHT HELP

What would a lawyer handling child custody cases and divorces at the Vista, North County courthouse know about how to settle the National Basketball Association’s lockout of the players, and possibly save the 2011-2012 NBA season? Plenty. As a basketball fan and as a Carlsbad divorce attorney and mediator, I simply cringe when I see …

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