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Category: Cooperative Co-Parenting

CARLSBAD DIVORCE LAWYER AND MEDIATOR REVEALS A SECRET ABOUT YOUR CHILD CUSTODY CASE

Here’s a little secret about California’s child custody laws: Like other “family” laws, child custody and visitation laws are not designed to be fair to parents. Instead, the basic principle of child custody laws is known as the “best interest of the child’ standard. When making decisions on your child custody matter, your family law …

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YOUR BEST WEAPON IN CHILD CUSTODY DISPUTES: KINDNESS.

Thomas Ferreira, your child custody and divorce lawyer in Carlsbad California here.  Last week I said I was going to go over some finer points about calculating child support.  I think I’m going to put that off until next week so I can share what could be the most powerful tool in your toolbox for …

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CHILD CUSTODY SECRET: KNOWING WHEN THE COURT CAN HELP YOU, AND WHEN IT CAN’T.

Thomas Ferreira here, divorce and child custody mediator in North San Diego County.  I want to let you in on a strategic secret that can save you thousands in lawyer costs and untold grief. I have a question for those of you who are divorcing, have a paternity case pending or a support case pending: …

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DIVORCE NEGOTIATION SECRET NUMBER FOUR: Avoiding the “A” Bomb

Thomas Ferreira here for this installment of my five secrets to successful divorce negotiation.  Today I want to talk about dropping the “A” bomb.  The “A” stands for “attribution.”  Dropping an attribution can produce a 5 megaton explosion guaranteed to blow up your negotiations. How many of you have been trying to influence someone, and …

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THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT IN A LOW-COST AMICABLE DIVORCE: BUILDING TRUST.

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TV VERSUS REALITY AND HOW TO SUCCEED IN FAMILY COURT

When I’m representing clients in family court, I want them to succeed.  I’m looking for a “good day in court,” a result that solves the problems arising in a divorcing family, a result that leaves our client feeling that the court heard and considered their side of the issues. Often our clients don’t realize how …

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WHAT ABOUT BOB: TIPS FROM A FAMILY LAWYER ON HANDLING THE MANIPULATIVE EX

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One of my favorite movies is What About Bob, with Richard Dryfus as Dr. Leo Martin, a psychologist and author of a new bestseller (“Baby Steps“) and Bill Murray as Bob, the patient from hell. Bob convinces Dr. Martin’s whole family that he, Dr. Martin, is crazy, uncaring and self-absorbed, in the end turning his …

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PARENTING AFTER DIVORCE: A NEW TRUST BETWEEN CO-PARENTS

Having helped numerous divorcing parents as a family law attorney and mediator, I have seen the whole gamut from the amicable, trusting couple whose decision to divorce was mutual, to the bitter, angry parents who weigh every communication to decide how it will play in court. Lawyers, judges and court professionals generally try to foster …

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